its early in the morning here in California, early for me that is I've been up now since 6 am. I think I'm married... but I'm always thinking of a memory a past romantic situation and my time living in San Francisco and the adventures that the path of a nomad has given me... Do you still think of those times, cuz I dream about it and I don't think its healthy but I thrive for it and when you call my number, I shouldn't listen or believe but I do. then I find myself driving out to Stockton to pick you up three hours away from my hometown. I guess the song Sunspots by nine inch nails best describes my situation.

She turns me on
She makes me real
I have to apologize
For the way I feel

My life, it seems has taken a turn
Why in the name of god would I ever want to return?
Peel off our skin we're gonna burn what we were to the ground
Fuck in the fire and we'll spread all the ashes around
I wanna kill away the rest of what's left and I do
Yes I do
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Give A Damn

(no subject)

I Want to pop like 10 2mg Xanax.So I can have a nice sleep and feel all rested.One time I did do as many as 8 2mg Xanax and I slept good.I wonder how many is too many ? Im not doing 10 Xanax tonight but I'd like to soon.Only problem is that will cause my tolerance to build back up.Then I'll have to slowely ween back down off that high a dose.Right now Im at taking 2 2mg Xanax.But in the past I had taken quite a few.There's just something wonderful about really sleeping good and then feeling great when you get up the next day.Then I can smoke weed and not need a drop of alcohol.I feel so good when I rest good.Please God I could really use a nice Comferting Xanax Induced sleep.If I should die before I wake
I pray that not only my sould you take but that you let me die really quick so I dont have to suffer.Thank You Amen

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Give A Damn

If Anyone Reading This Could Answer This It Would Be Much Appreciated.Thank You

I got a bit of a problem here.The doctor that I have been going to for over a year now is the one who's writting me the Xanax but the problem is he's not a regular M.D. and he's not a psychiatrist,He's an OBGYN.I've been on the 2mg dose of Xanax for over a year now and almost always take at least 2 2mg pills.At that high of a dose for as long as I have been on it.Even pharmacist know that you can NOT just stop taking Xanax cold turkey,you have to be weened off it.The Xanax works great and has been the only medication I've ever been on ( and believe me I've been on just anout all of them ).

I cant ask my OBGYN to up my dose of Xanax because he will then think Im abusing it which Im not.Sometimes I take it just for anxiety cause I have anxiety real bad.But I have also for many years now had a bad problem with insomina and I have tried different sleep aids,Ambien 10mg ( highest dose ) which did NOT work.Neither did the other sleep aids.So its like I need to find a doctor that will write me a script for Xanax 2mg twice a day so I dont run out before the end of the month or write me my usualy script of Xanax and find a sleep aid that does work.

But I dont want this doctor contacting my other doctor ( the OBGYN ) and telling him that Im just a druggie pill shopping, because Im not.I really do need my Xanax.If I tell my OBGYN this I know what will happen he'll tell my that I need to go to a doc that deals with that.Can I lie to a doctors and give them my sisters name so they cant find out that Im already on xanax? Or if I use my name will the doctors do a background check to see if I have Xanax prescriptions anywhere else ? Someone please help me.Tell me what I should do ?
Give A Damn

(no subject)

Did they used to make Xanax as high of a dose as 10mg ? Now the highest dose available for xanax is 2mg but some people insist that at one time they made 10mg xanax pills.Is this true ?